Friday, January 22, 2010

So Long Sweet Summer

Thought on Ronnie's fight aftermath-
The guy was sleeping on the floor- The Situation- great way to describe the guy who got knocked out.
Sammy feels horrible, what she should feel horrible about is ruining the Jersey Shore for Ronnie. And she mainly annoyed that she had to sleep by herself. Really? That's where her concern lies.
So they roommates come back to the house and Pauly D playing hansyies with the Israeli? ---Huge side tangent here, I happened to see 5 minutes of the reunion while I was getting my stuff together last night and apparently Pauly was telling a story about how she showed up in Rhode Island at one of his shows. She is officially crazy and Pauly lives in RI? How did I miss this? How did he make it on to the Jersey Shore? At some point in the room Vinny describes Isralies fighting as shooting guns...I think he may have started an Italian/Israeli war.

Ok I digress

Question- What's the over under on # of phone calls The Situation made in the summer?


Jwoww- referring to all the meatheads at the shore Labor Day weekend as "gorilla central" and being honestly excited about it. Not ever sure what to say.

And the roommates decided to go to the beach. Situations says they never really been to the beach? wtf were they doing all summer? I always wondered why there was not beach scenes. You figure all the girls would want to tan and the guys could have hit on girls. Kinda disappointing.

"do what i do best--pimp it"- the situation at the beach

Poor Snickers
goes back to the house to call the Farmer b/c she needs a date?
Why does she NEED a date? Were were supposed to go on a date, did we miss something?
Then she says "why would u make me like you for no reason?" And MTV is gonna give her a show. I will not be watching.
You cant really slam-hang up the duck phone can you?
So she decides to start her own party and dance on the boardwalk
She was gonna put her hat down for money that was how big the crowd was. i saw like 12 people and they were probslby ondering if she was "special?
Love how she wants the ex-boyfriend to come to her house then says hes the last person she wante to see
SHE IS A TRAIN WRECK


Guys night out--chucky cheese 4 dudes- nice comparison
Then Pauly talks about how special the time was and the bonds they formed...then he pauses and stares into the camera like his brain frooz and then goe "wow that was deep"


Connely Station-ronnie and sammy- right around the block from my grandmas in Belmar- nice- been there a couple times, good bar attached to it.....but boring waste of my time watching them

How did they not go to DJs, the guido capital of the world?


wow snicks was plastered in the hot tub...yelling at the camera? Priceless

if ur hungry try a snickers---The situation, maybe a top 3 quote of his from the season

That was the last night? Pretty weak. It was almost like they were told not to go out and party. Or it could have been Monday night so the shore was a ghost town

Their last supper is so staged, like all reality shows, kinda annoys me. It is like the producers were like " ok, you all eat dinner and talk abouty the last 2 months.

What happens down at the shore? One minute you got 3 girls in the jacuzzi the next minute somebody is in jail and you gotta bail them out--another great Situation quote, maybe he could have a desk calendar with his quotes.

Maybe we should get a shore house next summer? A set up if there ever was one. He is daring MTV to do this again.

Come on SITUATIONS 1st to leave the house?
You think the drew numbers to see who leaves when or the producers decide.


I was pumped for the episode but should have remembered that the last episode in all reality shows is not really an episode but more of a look-back at what was

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Leading to the Finale

I could go for a Jersey Shore desk calendar. Tidbits about each character. SOLD. Although i would also go for a Yankees or a crossword one as well. Or how about a reality TV show desk calendar? Lots of ideas going on right not.

I am seriously considering getting the Pauly D poster for the garage. Or if I can find a Jersey Shore cast one. What do you think? I copies you and now have some Jersey Shore pics on my classroom door. If i got you and Lisa the poster, framed, as a gift, she might feel obliged to hang it up. If not, the living room has some space. How about cut it in half and tape it to the elevator doors. Now thats an idea.

Will you be having your own list of awards as well? I will not be watching the reunion afterwards and blogging about it. I want to let the season digest for a day or 2 before watching the reunion.

I can't believe they did not stress this out further once the show aired. Hopefully there will be a SHIT they didnt show episode.

I'm still not sold on Ronnie being 220. He is my height, no way he is 220. 185 maybe.

You Cancun idea...brilliant. But I want to see them interact with other MTV reality personalities. Like they meet up with and have to go out with Joey and CJ or with Evan and Kenny. I think listening to them describe what was going on could be amazing.

Wait a minute, I just looked at Jwoww site. You are getting a poster of Pauly and of JWoww. wow.

Now I dont want to see Snickers on TV anymore, but you can just envision the crap show MTV has made up for her. You know it is coming and we cannot stop it.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Notes on the rankings... Reconsidering JWOWW

Excellent idea for a Pauly D calendar. However I will up the ante. Not only do I want the standard wall calendar, I’m looking for the daily desk calendar. I want to start each morning with a new hilarious picture and factoid about or by Pauly D.

Yes I recognize that I am probably the last person in America who uses one of those traditional rip of calendars. Currently my desk at work has two –a Dilbert and NY Giants trivia version.

As to your offer to purchase my son a Pauly D poster, while I have no doubt that both he and I will enjoy it, I’m not sure how much his mom will agree that it goes with the Nursery motif. I remember at one point during the wedding planning, I would come up with funny if not mildly inappropriate ideas, and Lisa would kill them. “This is our wedding. It is a serious and important day, and not the time or place for your silly little jokes with your little friends.”

I’m picturing getting a similar speech regarding child raising as I come up with fun ideas for my kid.

On a side note, there is a picture of Pauly D on my office door.

Great idea for an awards blog. Itching for it already.

Not so sure, about CT being that much bigger than Ronnie. I know he is listed at 6 foot, and Simmons once judged him at 240. Guessing that Ronnie is probably 220. I respect a 20 pound weight difference, but Ronnie is a lot more compact. In either case, I would pay good money to watch them fight.

On a side note. I forgot to mention that in Vegas this weekend there was a billboard for a club promoting that Pauly D and The Situation were going to make an appearance next weekend. Imagine if I had been there at the same time.

Okay so I’ll comment on your rankings:

Elite-
Originally I got a head full of steam and was going to argue your choices, but when I step back and take an objective look, I tend to agree. While this is not in my order of preference, you probably got the order right. A few points:

• The Situation and Snookie are far and way the most discussed portions of the show. Not that it is good, it is a combo of their characters as well as how this was edited.
• The Situation seemed to be involved in everything and that is why he is ranked number 1. Also he nicknamed his abs.
• Snookie’s dancing gets her up the list. The only things with her is it felt like she was edited/ put on to be entertaining. She is the least interesting person to me, in that if I could have lunch with anyone person on the show and hear their perspective on the actual experience, she would be dead last. Lets also assume that as the previews infer she has sex with The Situation in the hot tub in the finale and she gets some additional props.
• Pauly D is obviously my favorite. He delivers one-liners, avoids trouble, and is always up for fun. He never completely carries an episode which probably hurts him in the rankings.

The Rest:
I think your big miss is with Jwoww. She feel off pretty dramatically and that was her downfall but look back through our collection of posts and check out Jwoww’s stats. She is pretty absurd. If she had only decided to drop her boyfriend and unleash on Seaside she would have been in the upper tier.
Some other notes:

• Ronnie is real over rated. His size and two fights were good. But otherwise didn’t you get bored with his screen time. He was like watching Ron Dayne on the Giants. All sorts of hype, but an utterly disappointing experience.
• Vinny was just the middle of the road character and simply couldn’t be as interesting as the other folks. At least he didn’t take anything off the table… as opposed to…
• Sammy. Flop Flop Flop all day long. I had low expectations of her from the get go but she got worse throughout the summer.

Going Forward Rankings:
1 A and 1 B
The Situation and Pauly D have for me the most potential. I think the combo of their idiocy and their shtick has more appeal than anyone else. Send these two to Cancun and tell me I’m not watching 10 episodes. If I had to choose a top dog it is The Situation based on his espn performance alone.

2. Jwoww, will pose nude. And my hunch is that some time in the next 10 months if the rent is due and the coffers are empty we might see this young girl in porn. Btw. Here is her site…
http://www.jwoww.com/index.php

How much do you love that she is getting kickbacks from a plastic surgeon.

3. Snookie- I agree that she will pimp herself out, but here is the thing no one is going to want to watch her. She isn’t hot enough to get the “I hope she gets naked attention” And we have already done the ditzy famous thing with Paris Hilton. (who btw is someone people like to see naked.) I just don’t see where she goes.

Here is the thing. In the same week that Pauly D and The situation are getting billboards promiing their club appearances in Vegas, I saw an article in Newsday about Snookie doing promotions at a Long Island tanning salon. Really this is the best she could deliver.

4. Ronnie has a page six article in the works for his next bar fight arrest.

Website and Rankings

You are right. We need more of Pauly D's website. There should be more merchandise and why no events on the calendar? I want to go see him somewhere at an event.

But seriously and this will be in writing. I buy Bennett a Pauly D poster and it will have to be hung in his room for 4 months after he is born.

Also I think CT kicks Ronnie's ass and it is not even close. CT is way bigger. Way Bigger.

There will definetly be an Awards blog on Friday

Rankings:

SHOW PERFORMANCE:
The Elite
1. The Situation- i don't see how it could be anyone else. He was the most over the top. Tried to score the most girls, argued with everyone in every episode, came up with acronyms like GTL. I mean mention "The Situation" and people who overhear you will join in the conversation.
2. After much debate I am going to have to go with Snickers. I do not want to but I think it is. Getting punched in the face helped. But also her club dancing antics, bad luck with guys, she claimed to have delivered a calf and had to set a record for "most times having her crotch blurred". To think she almost left the show. Also a guy puked on her.
3. Pauly D- the only reason I had to put snickers ahead of him is b/c sometimes it felt like he rode on the Situations coat tails, but only b/c the situation is so boisterous. Although he had one of the single best performance on a show a bit back. He had so many memorable quotes, he Dj-ed one night, had a stalker. Soild performance.

The Rest:
4. Ronnie- Beating the crap out of 2 guys was probably his show highlights. That and the Ron-Ron juice. Funny how the guy who said "never fall in love at the Jersey shore" fell in love.
5. Jwoww- Thinks kissing is not cheating. I dont remember seeing her DDs blurred out at all. She did punch a girl and the stiuation. Also wore insane clothes to clubs, but she really did not live up to expectations. What happened to her and Pauly?
6. Vinny- Got so little air time, you never know b/c its all in the hands of the editors. Bronnie from RWC wanted to know why they only showed him hooking up with 2 girls in cancun when there was many more. He did steal the bosses girl.
7. Sammy Sweatheart- No fun at all. just none at all. other than being on the wrong end of house drama she did nothing except neutralize Ronnie's impact on the show.


GOING FOWARD:
1. Snickers- Unfortuantely I see her getting her own stupid MTV show where she is the host or something.
2. The Situation- he is a genius for saying on the previews for the last episode "we should get a house next summer". Talk about leaving the door open for MTV. They would have to go somewhere else though. Wildwood would be decent.
3. Pauly D- He is a dj and this will probably help him the most out of anyone. He will use this the best to further his career. But the other may be in the spotlight more.
4. Jwoww- Penthouse?
5- Ronnie- RW/RR chellenges?

Lots too discuss

Paulie D’s stalker is probably the most authentic part of this show. For everyone who has spent a weekend down the shore, who hasn’t had the awkward boardwalk run-in with a girl you hit on or hooked up with. Its part of the hilarity of the shore scene. At night people try to hook up and during the day you walk up and down the boardwalk checking people out or avoiding mistakes from the night.

As for his website. (www.mtvdjpaulyd.com) It scores a perfect 100 out of 100 on the unintentional comedy scale. I’m not kidding this web site could deserve its own 20,000 word post. I spend a good chunk of my day job talking to clients about their web sites as ways they could be improved or optimized. I have no suggestions for Paulie except- more.

More of everything. More shirtless photos, more use of the Italian flag colors, more 1994 airbursh graphics, more calendars of his events which are 100% empty, more personal blog posts that are labeled as posted by someone else… simply put- MORE.

Last note on Paulie’s site. Forget about me. I want one of his posters for my babies nursery. If I could register on his site I would!

Robbie. I’m not going to touch your comments about domestic violence with a 10 foot pole. I’m just going to stand back and let you alone be the one who calls it “an injustice” that MV is not showing more man on women violence. I am of course picturing Sue Henning from 10’th grade getting angrier and angrier and eventually ripping your head off before she self combusts.

That said Ronnie might need to enter into a steel cage match with CT from the Real World. The two of them are the clear favorites in terms of pure animal aggression that MTV has ever introduced us to. Can MTV make this happen. Please?

Vinnie is on the rise at the same time that Jwoww’s stock is dropping. And I tell you its not an even trade. I will give up the guy who makes a few wise cracks to The Situation in exchange for the girl who said she rips heads off guys after she has sex with them. Even her fight with The Situation was only mildly interesting. I really am going to need her to redeem herself in the finale or else we’ll have to wait for her porn tape before she can move back up the rankings.

On the topic of rankings, it sounds like you are leaning towards The Situation as your personal favorite. Why don’t we make that the topic of our next back and forth.
Give me two types of rankings.
1. Current rankings based on their performance on the show
2. Expected ranking based on what you think they will end up doing with their 15 minutes of fame going forward.

Thoughts Heading in to the Last Episode

So before the last episode lets discuss a few topics.

How about Pauly D's Israeli stalker. Holy crap that girl kept showing up everywhere. But I am guessing since Seaside's boardwalk is not that long(nothing like Wildwood at all) and it could not be too hard to find the camera crew, he was not a hard guy to find. You know Vinny was just trying not to crack up hysterically the entire time. But still this girl is crazy and the accent was not helping her at all. After all that drama then the confrontation at Karma, how does Pauly leave with her? It baffles me. Hopefully this will be discussed. Have you seen Pauly D's website? www.mtvdjpaulyd.com hopefully someone buys me a Pauly D poster for my birthday.


Ronnie- Who is this guy Rocky? Talk about roid rage. First he beats the guy up on the boardwalk, who totally had it coming....then he goes running down the street and knocks a guy out with one punch. The cameras could not even keep up with him, so disappointingly we miss the punch. AND MTV......why is it ok to show girls punching guys, guys punching guys and girls punching girls, but not guys punching girls. Kinda of an injustice. So basically that is the only form of unaccecptable violence?

Vinny- Starting to make a late run toward the finish. Not taking any crap from and talking shit on The Situation. Good for him, Even if he has gotten less air time than Angelina who was on the show for 2 episodes.

Jwoww- Aside from the slutty outfits she wears to clubs, she's been a major disappointment. What happened to "Watch out Seaside"?


Did you know Snickers is 4'9" That is really really short. She looks like...i lost my train of thought. damn it I love how she tried to start shit with Ronnie and Sammy about not hanging out and then they went all around to everyone and basically called bullshit. It was like a Big Brother moment.

The situation with the pickles and the bowl under vinnys bed.....classic...plain and simple.
I think I may write a 5000 word essay on The Situation once the season is over. He has to be getting another show, i dont want him hosting anything...no he needs to be on a show

Thats all for now

Friday, January 8, 2010

New Year, Same Situation

So I agree that Pauly and Snickers are playing into the hype b/c they are smart. Everytime Pauly smiles he is daring MTV to give him his own show or be the host of something. And sign me up for whatever it is. I wager that Snickers will get some kind of deal and it will suck.....let me repeat.....it will suck. She is not very interesting at all. I think Ronnie and Jwoww are shoe ins for a challenge.

The Michael Cera video you are referring to...is it the one where the make him into a guido? B/c that is genius.

I forgot to mention the ridiculous underwear Jwoww wore out that night. Seriously, it was a pair of boy shorts. Who goes out in something like that unless you are going to party at the Playboy Mansion? Apparently Jwoww does.

With this weeks episode, only Sammie, The Situation and Vinny have not punched or been punched in Seaside.

The situation is turning into a flop with the ladies. Joey from RW Cancun has destroyed him in the bagging girls category

They should make a MTV challenge with people from various shows, but the catch is they can't be jacked up. Imagine a show with Joey from RW Cancun, Pauly D, and I don't even know who else right now, but you get the drift. Wait....waht about a show with just those 2 guys, it would be awesome. Hey Simmons, there is a quality half baked idea

Thursday, January 7, 2010

A late, but lenghty reply

Oh boy it is great being back with our friends at the Jersey Shore. I too agree the wait was long but at least it is over.

Jumping right in, I agree with you that it is nice to see these solid talented upstanding citizens cashing in on their hard earned fame. These kids are doing everything they can to capitalize on this opportunity. I thought their Leno performance was poor… but have you seen the Michael Cera/ Jersey Shore video?

I do have 1 prediction for the show based on their MTV. I may be reading into this too much but I thought it was interesting that through the entire MTV NYE show the kept Ronnie and Sammie separate from the rest of the cast. I’m saying there is some sort of major rift in the house where those two group have a major falling out. God could only bless us with a full on throw down where Ronnie goes on a roid rage and Jwoww starts throwing haymakers again

Anyhow Lets rap up the conversation on the Snookie Punch.

I kid you not I watched this footage again and again, looking for reactions from each cast member, and I have to tell you I agree with Ronnie. You can ask the wife, but its true, even before Ronnie brought up the fact that the Situation was right in the middle of it and did nothing I was on top of it. In fact I started thinking I had some great angle for the blog. Unfortunately Ronnie picked up on the same thing. You may be right and its possible that the Situation froze up but watch his reaction again and it looks like he simply wussed out. Like Chris and his old famous disappearing acts to the bathroom during any of the old FBBC fight, I’m a bit suspicious. Put it this way, the next time anyone from the cast gets into a fight, I’m going to focus on the Situation’s reaction.

A final note on Snookie’s reaction. I think we all knew that she was going to milk the punch for all of the sympathy she could get, but the disabled line was too much. I love the look of fake fear that came across her face when she got the call that her attacker was let out of jail. Now I want to be clear (especiialy to my wife) that I am not making light of a woman being assaulted; but did Snookie really have something to fear from this guy? She lives in a house of meatheads surrounded by cameras. The odds of her getting full on punched by a complete stranger once had to be 1 in 10,000; what are the odds of this guy doing it again 1 in 1,000,000.

I’m going to move past the Ronnie / Sammie relationship. Its slow boring and to me the only uninteresting part of the show. Wake me up next week when Ronnie goes nuts and wrestles a guy on the boardwalk.

Pauly D. Simple owns this show. I might consider paying his appearance fee simply to have him hang out with the two of us at a dirty local bar. First off, I think he might be the smartest one in the house. I think a small part of him knows that he is playing up this stereotype and he doesn’t care. When his says this ridiculous guido stuff he cracks a smile that sort of say, “go ahead laugh it up, but I’m getting paid to act like this.”

Jwoww’s fight tells me 1 trhings about Jwoww- she is not messing around she really is this ghetto. Let me explain. Snookie and Paulie D. for as much as I find them amusing are somewhat contrived. Their attitude and guido gangster style is part of a show or a persona that they have put on. But deep down you know they grew up in upper middle class suburbs and have about as much legit street cred as I do. Even as I write this I am picturing how little street cred I have since I wore and argyle sweater and a tweed jacket to work yesterday. That said my lack of experience doesn’t mean I can’t comment, judge, and criticize.

Here is my point. Some folks in the cast are playing up the stereotype, I think Jwoww might be the real deal. I think when she wears what can only be considered underwear out to the club cuz she thinks it is appropriate. And more so I think when she personalizes said underwear to have sequins spelling out “Jwoww” across the crotch and “F%^k You” on the ass because she thinks it looks good.

So when a person like this gets a bit looped up, and amped up watch out. And this is exactly what happened. That poor girl who thought she was being cool harassing the MTV show, might have been able to pull that off with some other folks in the house. But Jwoww was having none of it. She through that drink like a girl who has been in a lot of fights before and she was throwing haymakers at that girl even with the bouncers dragging her off. There is one girl who had a tan shirt who started the whole argument. Go back and watch her reaction when Jwoww lets loose. She wanted none of it. I might pick Jwoww as the one of the most intriguing people MTV has ever featured.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Happy New Year

Ok so we had to wait 2 weeks for a new episode and we knew it was gonna be a let down since all people were talking about was the Snookie punch. and the episode turned out to be not too bad. I do find it funny how much attention the cast is getting. They were on the MTV NYE show at Times Square. Of course if you are them you jump at this (who knows it may be in some kinda contract). I think they will have to be in a RW/RR challenge soon. We need to email some MTV execs ASAP, lets find email addresses and i'll send the emails.
Onto the epidode.

Ah the Situation.....even tries to bring a girl back after Snickers gets punched. Its funny how some cast members actually call her Snickers. Its like When George on Seinfeld tried to get people at work to call him T-Bone and they wound up calling him Coco. They just decided they were not calling her Snookie and instead Snickers. Anyhow, the situation says " Jackie you need to hang out, i dont know what you are doing. at least for a little bit". Even funnier, Ronnie sees this and bashes him to the others. He also blames The Situation for watching Snickers getting punched and not doing anything. Ever been so drunk and seen something happen and you're frozen b/c you're drunk and in plain amazement, like you are watching a movie or something? I bet that was what he was like. or not

More on Ronnie. Quote....." Like we Fucking love yo Snooks" Quote from Ronnies Mom while waiting for Sammie..." I could be getting my tan on" Also Ronnie is gonna look back in 2 years and be disappointed at his performance and "falling in love" at the jersey shore. The whole scene at the F- Cove, he looks miserable. Ant the F-Cove....who knew this existed down the shore? I didnt. It looks like something you see from Texas or Nevada. Uber-cool. Yes, Uber-cool

Snickers....quote "now i know they love me"--after being punched. It takes getting punched in the face for people to love you? I dont even know what to say about this. She also refers to herself as disabled after being punched. She is about as disabled as Michael Scott in the Office after he steps on a George Forman Grill

Pauly D quotes of the week
1. "I dont think my hair is bullet proof"
2. I think it will happen but it make take a few time, you know, they are not whores"
3. "Technically they are 200m5g's, they're not regualr turntables they are the best turntables you can buy" ( he was so excited talking about these. hilarious)

Jwoww fight---you can start it off on this topic

Note to anyone ever on a Reality show......Your hand may cover your mouth when hooking up with someone, but it really doesnt hide the fact that you are.